Accidently reinforcing bad behaviors

A lot of times I see people trying to calm a dog who is clearly stressing by petting and loving on a dog. This has even happened in my own house. Dog barks, you acknowledge the dog and let him in; dog jumps when you walk in the door, you pet him and say, "Oh! You've missed me"; or, a dog growls when scared and you reach down placing your hand on his head muttering that the dog is okay. So, let's break it down and look at what you're doing when you do those things.

By petting or trying to reassure Fido when he's doing something bad, you are feeding him the attention he wants. You're showing him, "Okay, nip at me so I pet you." Or, "Okay, jump all over the place when someone walks in the door".

So what do we do instead?  I always ask for a sit. Some dogs are not comfortable sitting, so go with your dogs most comfortable position. When I walk in the door, I ask "Sit" and until I receive a solid sit, I turn away and ignore. I even avoid eye contact as some dogs can be intimidated if you stare at them and even watching them is contact at the basest form. So, I turn away and face my door. I watch carefully up in the reflection of the glass. Once Fido sits and has calmed, then I acknowledge him. If he starts to get up and move again to jump around, I turn away again.

Now, say I'm having company over? I start off by filling a Kong with a mix of what I call half and half of love. It's Greyson's favorite Kong treat. It's half peanut butter and half ground pure pumpkin. Grey loves it. So, I give him a fully filled Kong right before the first guest walks in. Now here's the hard part. Everyone who walks in my house has already been given instructions. It's the no contact rule. If you can't ignore the dog until he calms, well I probably won't have you over again.
Reinforcing proper behavior isn't as easy as it sounds. A lot of times it may feel like a battle of wills, but between management and ignoring and moving away until you can reinforce the good behavior, you'll be setting your dog up for success and not trying to correct failing behavior.

The picture is Greyson waiting calmly while we have company over.

Aggression vs. Intimidation

A lot of times I hear people say "Well he won't listen so I have to be boss in his life". And that seems to be where life goes south for the dog and family relationship.

Dogs read our minute movements. When frustrated does your face change? You bet it does! The slightest furrow of your brows may happen or maybe you raise an eyebrow. Dogs are aware and read our slightest movements.

For example, Eddie Munster, named for his slight underbite came into the rescue and now has a huge note on his cage "Growler: Fearful & Scared". I approach his door to his room and he starts barking and lunging. I back up, clear my mind, take a deep cleansing breath and he allows me to reach in and pet him. The entire time I never face him. I give him my side to tell him "I come in peace". While he then barks for more petting he is no longer growling. He is reading my signals just as he would another dog.

I don't use my voice to tell him "It's Okay". Instead I show him that It's okay. Once I pet him, then I start slowly talking. I could be telling him about the weather but I keep my voice light and airy. I keep talking the entire time once he's allowing touch. A lot of times people say I'm baby talking the dog, and That's quite possible.

I move onto Hershey's area which is next door to Eddie. I repeat the same process even though Hershey is friendly to me but I'm still in view of Eddie and I want him to understand that I once again mean no harm.

The lesson I've learned from doing this is even if I'm not interacting with that specific dog, they still watch and see how I am interacting with everyone else. Dogs read our bodies.

The other night while working with Spudz through his door a former adopter let her puppy down to rinsed play. Small dogs are Spudz' trigger and at 4 months old, the puppy was small. I don't normally use aversions but I felt it unfair to stress Spudz out with a loose small dog running past his door so I body blocked his sight. Puppy come near I'd stand in front of Spudz working on his focus. Spudz and I do this for about 30 minutes and every time he meets eye contact and waits for his treat. He excels at this. The reason I can stand in front of Spudz and body block? Months and months of working up to that.

So, next time you want your dog to do something, clear your mind, take a deep breath and remember that they read us better than any human can read us.