I've been quiet for a little bit. I needed to sort out a few things. I'm not normally a very emotional person, but this has been a trying time on my emotions. I have become attached to Spudz and I had to make a very hard decision.
Spudz has wormed his way into my heart and has become a treasured piece of me. He has become so dear to me that I found myself calling myself Momma to him. And then after our training sessions I would put him back into his room at the shelter and I would drive home a mess. I started to want nothing more than to bring my baby boy home to live with his brother and sisters, but I knew that wasn't possible and it was slowly tearing me to pieces.
No matter what I did I can't get Spudz to like cats much less coexist with two female cats. And, I am the lucky guardian of two cats. I knew Greyson would be tough enough, but I can't fool myself into thinking I can ever make it work. Some dogs just can't get past their dislike of cats. My house would be as much stress as the kennel stress is getting to be.
So, when Becky, the president of Scott County Dog Rescue, started telling me about the family who was interested in Spudz I tried to put it off as "he's not ready". In my heart I was trying to still convince myself that I could make it work somehow, but I can no longer lie to myself.
Spudz has come as far as he is ever going to come in my hands while living in a shelter. Today sealed the deal for me in my decision. I took some friends to see the dogs and we let the dogs out to play and potty. Spudz was calm. To hear someone else who has no experience with dogs claim he was calm and a good dog, I knew I was holding him back.
The family is ideal, have teenage sons and have experience with reactive dogs. I was the one who was standing in their way. I had to agree that he is ready. He has the training, meds, and balance he needs to continue in a home. I know it will be a rough transition for not just Spudz but for me also. And, it won't be a quick process. There will lots of visits and meetings and Spudz will need to continue with a training schedule. Slowly we will transition him to their home and I know this isn't going to be easy for me.
I came home today and curled up with Greyson and just held him tight. Who knew training a dog can cause you to become so attached to a dog. I started this journey with Spudz because a vet said he wasn't a good candidate to be rehabbed and I refused to give up. I know our journey isn't over but I'm truly hoping that this family works out and can give him the home I know I'm unable to give him. Even if I was delusional enough to think I could for a while.
So, in closing, if Spudz gets a home, this will be my first huge training break through. And it was all done force - free and with love, and understanding of a dog who isn't acting out just to act out. Dogs are telling us things with their behavior and if we open our minds and hearts to understanding them, just about anything is possible.
No comments:
Post a Comment