Grey greeted me every time I came home at the door with his tail wagging and seemed like a happy camper. I would lay down and he would curl up on the floor next to where ever I was. My first real afternoon and evening off, I curled up on the couch and encouraged Greyson to join me. Instead, he went into the other room and laid down. My first thought was that he was bothered by me being going so much.
I started to analyze how Greyson greets me. Tail up, wagging, loose body language, and typical good natured Greyson. There's never been a doubt in my mind that Grey didn't love me. I take good care of him, we've bonded through our training sessions, and he is happy go lucky with me at home. So why when I started not being home as much did I think he was changing his attitude towards me? Simple....I was feeling bad for what I was doing.
Greyson had adapted to my weird flip flopping schedule and while he still sniffs every inch of me when I come home to make sure I don't smell like a dog he knows, he never holds a grudge. And now that I look at it, dogs don't hold grudges! So how did I become convinced that he was upset? Well, I was feeling guilty.
So, after coming to this realization I started to look at other aspects of our lives with Greyson where I was wrong. Like the fact that he doesn't get to go to events with me. I always thought it was unfair to him to have to sit at home while I went to all these places, but I realize (and it was literally an AH HA moment) that Greyson doesn't care. Greyson is comfortable at home. He feels safe, no stress to make him panic (most days) and he is comfortable to be himself. Some dogs don't ever go out to events and be in the public all that much. I come home and love him, that's what makes his world tick. So once again, WHY am I stressing out about this?
I'm projecting my feelings onto Greyson. I see this a lot in dog training. "My dog is mad at me so he ate my shoes!" "I didn't come home when I was supposed to so my dog went potty in his crate!" "My dog didn't like that I wouldn't share my food with him so he dumped over the trash can!"
Now, let's look at each of these.
1)You dog ate your shoes? Did you leave them in his space? In other words, have you taught him what is his and what isn't his? Did you explain this to him in doggie language? Does the dog know that not everything in his domain (i.e. the floor) is his? Nine times out of ten the answer I get back is "Well, no." There you go! He isn't upset with you! He just simply doesn't know those aren't his to chew!
2) The dog went potty in his crate/bed/your bed/your floor? When was the last time he went potty? Did you feed him and then leave him to go in his crate or area of the house? Did you take him out to eliminate after he ate? How old is the dog and is he capable of holding his bladder for that long? If you depended on someone to take you out to potty and they didn't show up when you normally scheduled to go out, what do you think would happen? You would probably potty where you weren't supposed to.
3) Your dog knocked over the trash can? Does he normally do this after you throw something away? I prefer trash cans with lids or having the trash can where the dog can't get to it behind a gated area.
So we see that I'm not the only person who does this. We project how we think they feel onto our dogs when normally there is a simple answer for their behavior. In our case, Greyson is very happy being at home and not being taken places where he is going to be stressed out. He's happy to see me when I come home and he isn't pouting because I was gone. In fact he was probably pouting because during my nap I was snoring like a lumberjack! :)
And in the meantime Grey will continue to love life in a low stress environment!
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