How can we say goodbye

Today is one of those days where I am reminded that every dog I work with I form an attachment with. Their success is part of me. Their failure is part of me. I fall in love a thousand times.

It has taken a long time but when Greyson lays his head on my leg, looks up at me with those dark eyes and just sighs my heart melts. I've worked long and hard on our bond. It's one of the reasons I use only positive reinforcement now. I love the bond that is formed between dog and dog owner. I relish in seeing an owner know that their dog is truly happy.

I was in the paper last week and the headline in the middle page said "I don't train dogs. I teach owners to work with their dog's capabilities. " It is a phrase I  stand by. I love when an owner checks in and is so excited about what their dog can do and to see the dog happy brings me joy.

In the process I thrive on the interaction with the dog. I love being able to have them eager to work on cue for me and be thrilled to do it. Every time a dog greets me with a wagging tail and happy smile I melt just like I do with Greyson.

I bond as well with our dogs we work with. To have the dog come running at me to sit and get rewarded with even a pat on the head is important to me.

This past summer I held puppy classes. Toby was one of our students.  His owner is the type of student who wants to do it all right. She cooked for Toby. She clicked and treated his good behavior. She checked in routinely and we visited together. Part of our teaching is that we are a lifetime support. We are here to help. Always!

Toby was diagnosed with HGE disease.
( http://www.vcahospitals.com/main/pet-health-information/article/animal-health/hemorrhagic-gastroenteritis-in-dogs/764) Toby was treated and came home. He went back to being normal, silly Toby. This Monday we met at the pet store to discuss him joining a group class as an adult dog. He was skittish of men so we wanted to make sure he was comfortable in the setting. When a man came into view we got his attention and he took treats and was doing well so he was a perfect candidate for group class.

Last night his HGE came back. He had already been at the vet for IV fluids and his owner was doing all the right things still. Today he lost his battle. He passed away and to say I'm sad is an understatement.  I love our client dogs and I take this personally.  To lose a dog so young is heartbreaking. 

Then I start to think of Greyson's mortality. How is that a dog who has had everything possible done to him and had all the wrong treatment AND a shortened life span and he is still here. Life is truly unfair. Tonight I will stay home and curl up with Grey and be thankful for life's little miracles.

This picture is Toby when I visited him. His transformation from goofy puppy, to gangly teenager was an honor to be part of. To say he lived with positive in his life because of me is an honor!

Can't Save Them All

October is a hard month for me. It's the anniversary of putting down a dog who I was fighting to save. She was deemed "unable to-be rehabilitated " even though the vet gave her a 50/50 chance to survive. I wasn't willing to give up, but my opinion was ignored as I didn't have enough experience to mean anything to the courts.

Ever since then I've been on a mission to save the dogs no one thinks can be saved. I learned to assess behavior and read dogs signals. I've spent countless hours studying and sometimes it feels for naught.

I get a lot of phone calls and messages about dogs in need. I try to help as much as I can. I try to find rescues to help when I can or try to find qualified homes if possible. I network like a mad woman and drive my family crazy at times. In the end, I am just one woman trying to make a difference in a dog's life.

A lot of the dogs are well adapted creatures who through no fault of their own come into my world. Some have some baggage and some have behavior issues that need to be dealt with. Rarely is a dog perfect, but even rarer is there a dog who doesn't see me for being peace and light in their world.

I go armed with treats, hot dogs and peanut butter. I know how to approach a dog who is terrified and most times they end up in my lap. When I get a sigh of relief I know my job is done well.

The day I got a frantic phone call from an owner telling me she had just surrendered her pit bull and the dog bit the animal control officer is never how I want to start my day. But, I deal as I can and take the punches as they come.

When a dog bites a human there is a list of things that have to happen. If the dog is a stray, it never ends well. If the dog is owned and got loose and it happened it's a better situation, but still not good. When the dog is an owner surrender and then bites a human you can normally put it in the first category. I'm the person who goes in and deems the dog viscous or not. I have to then remove the dog from the county and should it bite again, it's done per the county.

I went in, asked to assess the pit bull and was told no. I asked how the officer was bit, how bad it was and if there was a bite report made. The officer's boot was scraped while the dog was on a pole. Red flags start going off in my head, but have to stay calm and try to not start screaming at people. After all, these are my access to continue doing what I do.

After a lot of arguing it was agreed I could perform an assessment. My first surprise was the little girl was NOT a pit bull. Sadie was a bull terrier and She was terrified out of her mind. I gave her my back and just sat there. She wouldn't budge. We had a locked (all dogs deemed human aggressive have to have a padlocked kennel door) door between us and I took out the spoon and peanut butter. Nothing. As long as I held it, She refused to look anywhere near me and just shook staring at a wall. I tried hot dogs. I slid them under the door to her and nothing. I turn away and give her my back and she started nibbling. We did this for a while. Slowly I was shifting my weight to have my side to her nose. She was now eating carefully out of my hand. My fingers were within her reach and she never tried to hurt me. I ended up facing her and feeding her the final two hot dogs. She was still shaking but she was now leaning again the door to me and letting me stroke her head.

I left to go talk to a rescue to see I could pull her, put her in a single dog home with no children or animals. I had a place she could go and I could rehab her. I got the papers drawn up which would give me legal ownership of her and started the wheels moving.

It takes a lot of paperwork and juggling when it's a dog who has a bite history. By this time animal control called the rescue and tried to talk then out of it. I was ticked at this point. Her bite history was over a scuffed boot! There was no bite record on file at the hospital. I felt she was being targeted unfairly and I wasn't going to take it lying down.

Sadly, I had to wait to pull her until the next day. I was ready though and took help because I knew I was going to have to crate her to remove her. She was too scared by all the barking and being left on her own. I was NOT prepared for what greeted me though in her kennel.

In less than 18 hours she turned into a lunging, growling, biting mess. I couldn't shift my weight off from giving her my back without her lunging at the door at me. I removed her padlock from her door and she jumped and lunged at my hand. No dog had ever truly made me nervous and a little scared until now. To say the pressure was on was an understatement. I went outside to get some air and walk off the stress. I had my helper call the original owner and talk to her. She showed up and Sadie was a different dog. She was loving and licking. She let me pet her and unlock her door. We had hot dogs and she was enjoying herself. She moved back and Sadie lunged for me. It only takes once. And when it happens with an audience the situation goes from bad to really damn ugly.

Sadie without the security blanket of her original owner was dangerous. She had to go to a different home from this owner because they had a strict no pet rule. From that time she got passed around from home to home until She was relinquished to the pound. That week of her world shifting over and over was all it took. Sadie decided that She couldn't trust and She lashed out at me who was her last hope.

I know the situation could have been handlesd better. Things could have been done differently, but I was left with the final word.

So October sucks because I lost my Melanie. I wear her collar in memory of her. November really sucked because I couldn't save Sadie. I have her collar I bought her that morning. I'd like to think that there will only be two collars I wear in memory of dog's I couldn't save.

In the meantime I keep repeating the words "You can't save them all" to myself as I try to heal from this. I know in good conscience I can't unleash a dog on a family I can't trust. I take what I do seriously and if I feel I can't turn my back on a dog because they make me nervous that they will bite me or someone else then I have to step away.